I wanted to share a recent client insight about negative self-talk, in case it is helpful to someone else.
In one of our coaching conversations, this client recognized a couple of limiting beliefs about her tendency for negative self-talk:
- She believed that her negativity (her words) was a personality or character trait; it was just the way she was built. This felt very self-defeating.
- She also believed that she should try to think more positively, but because she couldn’t, there must be something wrong with her. This felt like shame.
The self-judgment and shame that these beliefs created for her prevented her from even looking at her self-talk and how it was holding her back.
And this reluctance to look at the way she was talking to herself left her feeling stuck.
An idea that really helped her was to view her thoughts as invitations.
The brain is generating these thoughts, or invitations, all day long. We can’t stop them from coming, but we can decide if we want to entertain them.
When she thought about viewing her thoughts as invitations rather than absolute truths, my client felt a considerable weight lift.
She now felt like she had choice.
She could choose to entertain the thought and follow it down the rabbit hole of negativity, or she could acknowledge it and move to the next one.
If you would like help identifying the beliefs that are holding you back, or you would like to explore alternate perspectives that can propel you forward, sign up for a free coaching session here.